“the experience of two or more events that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, yet are experienced as occurring together in a meaningful manner”
One of my goals for this blog is to take some of my rather “new age”-y beliefs and break them down into something more understandable for others. Since I’ve recently experienced some guidance through synchronicity, now seems to be a good time to explain this particular term.
As the definition describes, synchronicity is the idea that nothing is just a coincidence. That there is a godly order to our lives, and the things we think, see, hear, etc on a day to day basis are exactly what we’re suppose to be experiencing. And so when we witness coincidences, there is a spiritual reason behind the similar events.
Some people believe there’s a reason for every synchronicity 100% of the time. I kind of take it more casually, and only consider them as a message if a coincidence immediately makes a connection with me.
I feel like this is something many people do. It’s not uncommon to think “Hmm, maybe God’s trying to tell me something here” without even knowing anything about the behavior of synchronicities. I’m pretty sure I took a hint from God time to time back in my purely Christian days, and this concept kind of lines up with the Christian belief of predestination as well. As with many shared beliefs between religions, I think “they’re all different names for the same thing.”
However, I do feel like once you’re on to the concept of synchronicities, you give God the ability to use them more often to communicate with you. And so it was the other night.
It was about 11:30 PM, and I was parked outside of a gas station, waiting for my friend Holly to get off work. The day before had been rough. Another breakdown in my dad’s office and a panic attack later that night.
As I sat outside waiting for Holly, I considered what a mess I’ve been this last year. Suddenly a question popped into my head:
“Does spirit make things overly dramatic, such as my breakdown in the office, in order to get our attention to a bigger problem?”
I kinda shrugged the question off and started Googling depression-related topics on my phone. I ended up viewing an almost unrelated post on yahoo answers, with a response in which a woman mentioned several spiritual principals then stated:
“Sometimes the discomfort you are speaking of is a sign that you need to make a change.”
Instantly I was reminded of the very similar thought I had moments before. The answer also referenced a book I had just heard about for the first time a couple of days earlier. (And as I’m writing this, I just realized my meaningful coincidences almost always have 3 parts. Never just 2.)
So, to me, this was the universe saying very clearly that I needed to make a big change.
Through this, I realized that a big source of anxiety in my life comes from a particular friendship. A friendship in which I am unable to 100% be myself. One that causes me to be in a constant state of protecting and helping this person, even at the cost of my own happiness..
I had noticed this a lot before, but this time was different. You see, the friend I’m discussing is a really good person, and actually, a pretty great friend too. The problem is the way I respond to the friendship. It’s just something that causes me a lot of irrational anxiety. For the longest time, I just tried to make it work because the problem was clearly me and not her. It felt unfair to hurt somebody else just because I was unable to function like a normal person.
But last night I realized it doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve tried to look past my anxiety, but it’s there. Until I can handle it better, I can’t have a friendship that causes it to get so overwhelming. Something has to change.
Which brings me to tonight. I just realized that the same thing is happening with my best friend. I’ve known her for over 15 years, but we’re starting to drift apart. It’s something I’m not handling well. It makes me a bitter, resentful person, no matter how hard I try to be happy for her. Overall, another scenario where the other person isn’t doing anything wrong, It’s just how I respond to her. I’ve tried to change how I feel for months, but something in the scenario is bringing up feelings of anxiety and abandonment.
So in both situations the options are clear: Continue experiencing the pain or find a way to change it, even at the risk of losing the friendship.
What this lesson points out to me is that I have to learn to let go. It’s something I struggle with on a daily basis. For the longest time, I could not separate the idea of loving something and hanging onto it forever. That’s why moving away from home was so hard for me. I was unable to hang onto the life around me. I was forced to move forward.
In the end, hanging on only hurts us. Learning to let go gives the freedom to release what doesn’t serve us anymore so we can experience new things. So we can roll with the changes of life without getting hurt. It might not seem like it sometimes, but letting go is an act of self-love.
I’m on the verge of making some big changes with the aforementioned friendships, as well as other aspects of my life. I’m at the very beginning of this new life lesson, and it’s not going to be easy. I feel as though a part of me will always be that girl who kept every little memento. Who needed a picture of every event so she wouldn’t forget. But in the end, those things only become baggage. Baggage that makes packing up and moving new places that much harder.
So I’m leaving you guys with a question, as I’m new to this as well:
How do you cherish your love for something (a friend, parent, home, pet, etc) without creating a hurtful attachment?
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